Taco Bell vs. Chipotle

Nic Baggetto and Tiffany Kajiwara

Nic: Devouring greasy fast food is practically an American tradition, and when it comes to selecting concessions, there is no place better than the root of coronary heart disease itself: Taco Bell. You see, the American dream is not the search for liberty and equality; it’s going to Taco Bell and eating four chicken quesaritos and a Nachos Bell Grande. While it’s metro Mexican counterpart, Chipotle, may take the cake in categories like food quality, service and cleanliness (like those matter), Taco Bell is king for the morbidly obese generation.

Tiffany: Chipotle is like a choose-your-own- adventure novel. You can stroll up to the counter and personalize your meal instead of being confined to the shackles of Taco Bell’s limited menu. The number of options is as large as the greed of Taco Bell executives. Choosing Taco Bell is like waltzing into tyranny: you get soul-shaking regret and digestive issues. Who would willingly choose the suffocating restraints of an oppressive society over the irresistibly lush rolling hills of freedom and liberty?

Nic: If Chipotle is that irresistible, explain the multitude of celebrities who enjoy the cheesy deliciousness that is the naked chicken chalupa. Justin Timberlake eats Taco Bell, and he’s a model of fitness. If it’s good enough for JT, it’s good enough for me. I mean, are Dorito tacos not the future? Nothing compliments unhealthy better than unhealthy. Taco Bell is the ultimate (cardiac) food experience and those who say differently clearly have never tasted the addictively gratifying flavor of poor health! …Boy, that Justin Timberlake is one handsome man.

Tiffany: Just because the best, most stunning singer of our generation thinks that Taco Bell is edible doesn’t mean that it’s better. Justin Timberlake has good taste, and I’m absolutely positive he likes Chipotle as well. Either way, “one handsome man” shouldn’t be the deciding factor here. Yes, his eyes are dreamier than a tub of all you can eat guac from Chipotle and his jawline is stronger than my favorite crispy tortilla chips, but- What was I saying? Oh my. Forget Chipotle or Taco Bell! Gimme some of that JT!