Oprah vs. Ellen

Danny Kummer and Nic Baggetto

Danny: The most enthusiastic talk show host on TV, Oprah, is here to keep her reign of daytime TV against Ellen. She is a nominated actress, has her “OWN” TV channel, talks about the topics that matter, and she had the daytime show that showcases amazing people and products that usually end with the famous gift under the audience members’ seats. However, Ellen only has a staple dance, spends a whole week talking about kittens, and is only famous because of the children she showcases on her show.

Nic: Oprah vs. Ellen? Man, we’re really running out of ideas now, huh? Alright. Let’s get this over with. People say that Oprah is a philanthropist who donates her money to charity, but here’s the thing: Oprah has a net worth of 3 billion dollars! Ellen is only worth 200 million. Oprah giving away a million dollars equates to less than the cost of a Cuisinart DCC-500 12-Cup Programmable Coffee Maker from Macy’s for a normal person… Probably. I’m not good at math.

Danny: However, Ellen seems to have a strange connection with fish. This year, Ellen will be voicing Dory in Disney’s “Finding Dory.” First of all, we don’t need to find Dory; she had enough screen time in the original “Finding Nemo.” Second of all, the dance that Ellen does at the end of each of her shows make her look like a fish out of water. There is a definite connection that I am surprised that no one has yet mentioned. Ellen might as well be a fish in disguise and who wants to watch a fish flopping around on stage, other than really weird people?

Nic: But Danny, who could forget “Ellen’s Energy Adventure,” possibly the most beloved and well-known attraction at Walt Disney World in Florida? …What else? Dunno. I’ve never seen either of their shows. Nic out. Peace!