There comes a time in all children’s lives in which they reach a sort of epiphany. The moment the student realizes that his or her success, or sometimes lack thereof, is comparative to a sibling or even people in general.
The common problem is the constant comparison between siblings and the lack of understanding parents have about how each of their children are different. While their oldest child is academically dedicated and successful, they expect their other kids to follow in the large footprints of their first born. But as a younger child, children desperately want them to understand the differences between them and their siblings.
Everyone’s brain capacity is typically not the exact same as the “other sibling’s.” And even though parents pull the “I know you’re smart, too” line, it is OK to not be the same person as an older brother or sister, because, well, they are a separate person. Often it seems that parents don’t grasp that concept at all and it seems to crush their child’s confidence.
Then there is the switch. In this case, the older siblings are not so into the whole school thing while the younger child is. In this scenario, parents are overly proud of the student’s average grades because it is an improvement. In this situation “B’s” are worth a trip to Disney, where as when the younger child is the less savvy one, a “B” is failing.
Junior Amber Freidenfelds experiences the scenario in which her siblings are super athletic and involved whereas she focuses on school work, unlike her two brothers and sister which of course is helpful in some aspects, but it’s hard to escape the shadows of an elder sibling.
Either way, someone in the family is overwhelmed by comparisons, that “Why aren’t you as good as (insert name here).” feeling. Like Junior Jerrson Pachar who tends to hear, “Oh you are Jonathon’s brother”, referring to his brother’s semi-pro soccer career. Kids feel like they’re not quite good enough, or maybe like they’re a disappointment. Well they almost are. As harsh as that sounds, it will not be an easy route trying to get one’s family to understand an individual path, whether it is the same as their other child or not, hence the word individual. Maybe, they won’t understand, or don’t care to try to comprehend their kids feelings, but in the end of the day, one’s capabilities are known self-wide.
Some of us have that one sibling. You know, that one? The one who is super smart, and super successful in everything they do. And then their siblings get to live with the “Ooh, you’re (insert name here)’s sibling? Oh I just love her, what a sweet, smart, talented person.” Um, thanks?
We’ve all felt it. Being second best is just a wondrous feeling…of agony and hatred.
In some cases, this wonderful person is not a sibling, but a friend, acquaintance or celebrity, under categories ranging from athletics to body image. All in all, whether the fantastic person someone is being compared to is a sibling, friend or Taylor Swift, individuality is key to success. Why be second best in something when you could go an individual route and be at the top?
By: Marki Kaim